You ever have that feeling that in your mind that you want to keep going and going and going, and your body just says “i’m not there yet”. That was me today. Despite my body being in a sore state of affairs from some hardcore workouts this week, I want to keep going, I want to do more, I want to gain muscle, I want to shave the rest of this fat, tighten this skin, and push myself further. 

On one hand, this is absolutely fantastic to have this much motivation to work out, recalibrate healthy eating, etc., and on the other hand it is is frustrating. Today’s WOD was a lot of fun “Gravity Sucks”. 20 burpees, 15 sit-ups, 10 ninja jumps, 5 pullups. Although my pullups weren’t A+ by any means, I did 5 rounds of these babies. That means 25 pullups (for better or worse). Again, probably 4 of them were full on – and they were on the rings and not the bar. We tried to learn kipping, which seemed harder. I want to be able to do this, and I know it will take work, and it’s just a matter of strengthening my body more, which will take time. 

I think about how long its taken to get rid of the majority of fat on my body, over a year, and there is still some hanging on (resilient bastard!), it’s all about work put in to output. I just need to keep working that scapula, back, shoulders, biceps, etc. It’s all very daunting in thinking about how to work those areas in the most effective and proper way. I want to put in the work, despite how much it sucks. At yesterday’s workout, I overestimated the amount of weight I could press (yet still did it) at 2 x 25 lbs. weights. After 3 rounds of heavy weights, jump roping  etc. my shoulders were on death fire. Once I was done, I threw the weights to the ground, which felt dramatic, but realistic as a reaction to how I felt. I am in no doubt calling in my workouts. I know I could have better form, and probably sacrifice it to get a better time sometimes, and hopefully will keep finding that balance. 

So, what do you do when your goals and time are not aligning with your results. Well, I am getting results, just not at the rate I want, which I think is normal. I know that when I was focusing on losing weight, I couldn’t see the daily results, and the thing I love about CrossFit is that everything is measurable, so in 2 months, if I am using a bigger weight and I have better form, I know I am doing better. Body composition seems to be shaping slowly, but again, seeing results on a daily basis are difficult to track (which is why the monthly photo is a good idea). 

If you are putting in a lot of work, and feel like you aren’t getting a lot of results – keep at it. The sole reason shouldn’t be just to see a physical improvement, benchmarks come in all shapes and sizes. Don’t get discouraged. Although this blog may sound discouraging, I feel in the absolute best health of my entire life, I feel challenged on a daily basis, I feel happy living in my body (well 90% of the time, the loose skin is becoming quite annoying, but I realize that I spent 26 years stretching it out, it’ll take more than a year to get it back to a normal space), and I have found several things that I am absolutely passionate about that are socially, physically, and mentally healthy. Despite the focus on results and change, they are a side-effect of living my life in an entirely new scope. I feel incredible lucky that I have these things in my life, and that I have allowed myself the opportunity to not shut them out like I have in the past – if you do one thing for yourself, make sure it is that you try to find that daily motivation and inspiration , that your benchmarks are about being happier and healthier. If you are trying to lose weight – work hard, eat better, and you will see results – PROMISE. It may take 3 weeks, it may take 3 months (I have been in the same weight range for almost 3 months now, you can’t let it get you down, or you’ll just regress, which will make you feel even worse than not losing at all). If you want to gain muscle, life heavy things and repeat, and it will happen. 

The main components you need are some sort of motivation, mental adrenaline to get you to the next stage of your goals —> work hard = get results. 

I know that I am PUMPED to see where I will be by my 2 year benchmark, and I want to work as hard as absolutely possible. I don’t want to look back and say, “I could have worked harder”, “I wish I had gone to more workouts”, “I wish….” anything – I am going to make these next 3 months matter, and you should too, and no matter the results, I cannot be ashamed if I put my all into it! 

Keep on keepin’ on.