Tomorrow I turn 27, and a year and a half ago I took the steps to better my life. At the start of this journey, it was merely because I knew that my physical number of pounds were getting out of hand, but today it’s about so much more than that.

I just found a photo from last summer that I forgot had been taken. It’s not a great photo, kind of blurry, but since it had been awhile since I had seen it, it was almost like seeing myself for the first time again (whereas the photos on my Facebook, I can compare to, and see the difference, not having seen this particular photo changes the way you look at it).

Today, i’ve had quite a fat day. I have eaten a bit over my daily goal, physically I am just feeling a little flubby, and the scale is on the high end of it’s fluctuations. It sucks, but seeing this photo really stapled down how far I have come since last summer. I have a lot of work to do, the next phase of goals is to get into a healthy BMI (about 10 lbs.) then to really work at toning and strength, which will be an entirely new journey of difficulty. The photo shows a measurable progress beyond the number or my mental state for the day, it shows that when enough effort is put forth, change can happen. I have to remember that for these next phases, and for the rest of my life.

After eating a bunch of pretzels earlier tonight, I felt like I could slip right back into that lifestyle, food is just so easy to eat, running is hard. I will not stop those things, but for the rest of my life, I need to be eating a lot less to maintain my weight, which often seems unfair, but worthwhile. Food is for fuel is a website I came across a few months ago, and it makes sense. I wish we were taught that at birth, not that food is super delicious and should be used to feel better, to strictly enjoy a taste, and not for health benefit and to fuel us for our day. Our perception of food is so off-kilter, and I am still working each and every day to change my relationship with it, balance eating within my goals, eating good food, and being mindful of what I am putting into my body. Today, there were 14,000 great desserts at the commons, and I ate about 10,000 of them, but there will be days like that, as long as I know that tomorrow I will try harder. In general, things have been very transitional for me, mentally, and that reflects in other ways, but the old me would have eaten a few pounds of food during the time summer work started, and although that is not a litmus test for how I should live my life now, shows that I have made these changes.

Back to the photo. I have to say, it is crazy to see this. It makes me incredibly proud to see that within one short year a profound change can be made both physically and mentally. I am still working hard to get both of those to where they are at optimal health, but I am on the right path. It also makes me a bit sad, it makes me sad to remember memories from the past, and that was how I was proceeding with my life, almost ignorant of where I was going and what I was doing. Last summer, I had been going to the gym (so that was not even my heaviest, at that point, I had already lost about 25 lbs.), without a true overhaul of my lifestyle or habits as of yet (that came more in December). I am viewing August as my next overhaul phase, where I start boosting up learning on strength, getting in shape and getting to that healthy BMI before the next session of Big Bears to Little Bears begins where I will be training 2 days a week with a trainer, and plan on doing Zumba, Kettle Ball Kraze, and Power Hour. That will be 5 workouts a week, and then maybe a solo strength day (either at the gym, or start insanity). This will also include some running, as I prepare for the September 15th half marathon in Bar Harbor.

Overall, I am extremely happy of where I have come in one year. In retrospect, I could have made some different choices, but I want to use that as future motivation to see where I can be when I turn 28. By 30, I want to be healthier than when I turned 30, by then, hopefully toned up, and feeling great, and by hope I mean… WILL BE. Conditional language has no place in transformation!

Alright, and now that photo 🙂